When discussing CBT, I should have probably started with this as it is the basis of the entire theory and important to return to as we learn to retrain our brain for more positive thought > emotion > behavior pathways.
While this infographic provides a good example, my favorite and go-to is either a very fast (scenario 1) or very slow (scenario 2) driver in your path. We know we can all relate.
Thoughts:
Scenario 1: "This guy is a maniac. Doesn't he see I'm going the speed limit? Who does he think he is?"
Scenario 2: "Doesn't this guy know I have some place to be? Why can't he get out of my way?"
Emotions:
Scenario 1 & 2: We may become frustrated or angry or raise our voice. We may also become scared for our safety, further elevating many other emotions.
Behavior:
Scenario 1: We may start to speed up, or slow down, or drive erratically, matching the driver's actions. We may raise our voice or talk to others in our vehicle in a less than kind manner.
Scenario 2: We may speed up and drive around them in the non-passing lane. We may rant to others in the vehicle about how the person is causing frustration to us.
In these scenarios, we are allowing someone who is not even known to us to influence our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. We likely will have longing emotions and behaviors well after the event has occurred. This could impact our next hour, day, or even weeks or months. Afterall, we don't even know this guy!
The good thing is that just as this demonstrated a negative cycle, we can retrain ourselves to be more neutral or positive about the event. By using self-reflection or knowing what triggers exist, one can recognize the cycle when it begins and turn the tables to not allow the negative emotions and behaviors to occur.
Let's revisit scenarios 1 & 2.
Thoughts:
Scenario 1: "I hope this guy is ok. He seems to be going fast. I'll just stay my speed and let him go around me."
Scenario 2: "This guy seems to be going pretty slow. I will go around him so I can continue on my way."
Emotions:
Scenario 1 & 2: We will likely have less strong emotions and will not have emotional escalation.
Behavior:
Scenario 1: We will likely maintain our speed and stay in the lane where we are driving, allowing the fast driver to pass.
Scenario 2: We will likely use the passing lane to pass the slower driver to continue to our destination.
This just feels different. We are not giving the unknown person any power or control over us, and we are not letting them influence our hour, day, weeks or months. We are not escalating our emotions and can then have behaviors that are more positive and conducive to a more peaceful life.
Now, let's translate this to my cancer. I could easily think "why me?" and "what if?", but instead, I think "I am in the best hands and am gaining the knowledge to best be involved in my care.", "I can only make decisions based on the facts I have at the time.", and my favorite "What if it all works out?"
This allows me to have more positive emotions and therefore behaviors more conducive to healing. I use my energy to do yoga or walk. I try to get sunlight for my vitamin D levels. I am eating well and not getting angry so I do not channel negative vibes. This is a major part of my positive mindset.
Remember, sometimes it takes a minute to catch yourself, and that is ok! It will get easier and easier the more you practice this skill.
A helpful worksheet:
I can relate. It's a very effective strategy. You got this!🤗
ReplyDelete