How does it feel

 I found this emotions wheel from BEAM, and loved the messiness of it. It's not just this perfect circle with perfect colors. It's alive.

 I've decided I feel in colors. My Dad always taught us to have the right word for what we were saying. We call him the walking thesaurus. Moments like this should have one right word, but they don't. So right now I am: a rainbow. I can literally pick out words from each color in that perfectly, imperfect emotions wheel.

 The most common question I've received with these new findings is, "Is this a good thing or a bad thing?" 

 My most succinct answer is: It's both. It's why I did this (SURMOUNT) clinical trial. I'm catching potential future cancer cells before they have a chance to attach to an organ and become metastatic if the study (ABBY) medication(s) work as intended. It's bad that I have them though as it greatly increases my risk of metastatic cancer if we can't kill them with these study (ABBY) medication(s). Makes my approach proactive and not just reactive. The current practice without clinical trials is waiting to treat it until it has metastasized.

 The words I've used to some is "scientifically inevitable". Let us remember I have triple positive breast cancer which is HER2+ and HR+ and I had a residual cancer burden (or not a pathologic completed response) after chemotherapy prior to surgery (neoadjuvant). 

Let us consider:

First 5 Years: HER2-positive (HER2+) recurrences most commonly appear within the first five years, often peaking around 20 months to 3 years after diagnosis.

Beyond 5 Years: Because of the hormone receptor-positive (HR+) component, patients carry a steady, persistent long-term risk of late recurrence that can extend past 5 to 10 years post-surgery.

Other Risk Factors:

• Tumor Burden: Larger primary tumor size and residual cancer burden remaining after initial treatment increase risk.
• Pathologic Response: Not achieving a pathologic complete response (pCR) after neoadjuvant (pre-surgery) treatment elevates recurrence potential.

Other Considerations:

Site of recurrence: If it returns as metastatic (distant) disease, HER2-positive (HER2+) cancer has a higher tendency to recur in the brain compared to some other subtypes.

 Let us remember, this is why I chose to enter these clinical trials, so others may live.

 So back to how does it feel? It feels like I'm ready to hit this shit with all I've got. The fact that both UPenn clinical trial teams (SURMOUNT and ABBY) contacted me so quickly after the results to get started really shows me we're on top of this. The continued support I continue to have from everyone is so very appreciated. 

The feeling I have is like a rugby scrum and we're the All Blacks (cancer is yellow):